You confuse me. You make me so angry, so frustrated, so mad, so sad, so ANNOYED, and altogether, so in “love” with you. I don’t understand you. One minute, you are a complete jerk, idiot, asshole, debbie downer, complete fucktard, complete….AHJKDFHSJKHDJKSDHJKSD you make me so mad!!!!! YOU make me not want to be your friend. Why, WHY? WHYYYY It hurts so much, it hurts me so much inside. I’m trying to get over you, I’m trying to stop THINKING about you. You are on my mind so much and now that we live together, it gets soo aggravating. And then, the other “stupid” side of me wants to believe that we could possibly happen. That maybe, if we can’t get together, maybe we can be best friends. Whenever I am with you, I can’t feel but be happy and be there for you. My heart reaches out so much to you, and it just seems like you take advantage of it and me, too. Even when you put me down so much, I let it slide because I want you to like me as a friend. Sometimes, I wish you could just stop being the asshole you are, the person that always criticizes and points out each of our flaws. Remember the time you spilled water onto my stuff, I didn’t get mad at you, I didn’t say WTF man, I said “it’s okay.” Okay, so maybe I am being melodramatic and maybe I’m being too dramatic right now, but I wish I could just sit and talk to you about how I feel. You never really listen to what I got to say. But when I listen to you, I give my 1,000% ears to you. But you’re so judgemental, you’re so narrowminded. AND to top it all off, you’re a liar, too. You said that you won with a continuous streak earlier, nigga, I beat yo ass like 5 times and you would be so annoying with your sore loser self. And that’s another thing, why do you say “nigger” so much? That’s so degrading and so insulting to black people. I wish I wasn’t bashing you so much for the bad person you are, and I’m really trying to find the good in you—and I KNOW it’s there. But, lately, I haven’t seen much of it. You say “you love me” but I know you don’t. Those words don’t sound genuine to me, they’re not real. They’re all lies. Just like you. I wish you could just hug me and tell me everything’s going to be okay, but it’s not going to be. I wish you hadn’t come back this school year. My heart bled so much when I found out that you were going to leave. Why? Because I wished you were coming back, but I knew I shouldn’t have wished because it really did happen. Sigh. Major sigh. I didn’t know you were going to be the guy that’ll turn my world upside down. You make me feel ashamed of myself, but then when I’m around you, I feel so happy—happy that I’m with you. Happy that you came back. JDKSLDJLSKDJKLSJDLKSJDKLSJDKLSJDKLSJDSD

You aren’t the world, you’re no one special.

But to me you are.

AND UGH I feel so gay and retarded and juvenile reading these words as I write it.

I hate this.