I am literally about to explode right now. This sabbath afternoon could not get any worse and if I don’t blog my rants out, so God help me. I’ve just been kicked out of my own dorm room…by my own roomates…they get to do everything together, and I don’t understand why they don’t ever, ever bother to hit me up and say “hey, Neil, let’s hang out!” No, none. I mean, I am glad that at least Tony has been at least somewhat caring for me, but not so much the others. I feel left out already, and now I get kicked out. I understand that they’re talking about something personal with this other guy, but what the fuck, I can’t get personal with them, too? See, Jeremy? (If you ever decide to fucking read this) this is why we can’t fucking bond, because you are always busy doing something, but you never ever bother to invite me to anything. The same goes for you, Tony. You guys are in your own little universe. And now, frankly, I kinda regret rooming with you guys. I should have roomed with Isaiah, not y’all. I’m always at the dorm by myself, or I’m in the library studying. I can’t just put you guys on top of my priority list. I’m trying to get ready for the freaking nursing program, and hanging out with y’all a lot isn’t going to subside well. Seriously, if you want to be a good friend, you go find me, you take the time to holla at me, and you tell me where to go and when, I’m not going to go follow you guys everywhere. YOU guys are NOT my bestfriends forever. Let me clarify that. NOT.

Sigh. What am I saying. I love them, but they don’t feel the same about me. And, to top if all off, we don’t like the same things. They like girls, I like boys, they like sports, I like to run, they’re always out and having something to do, I’m trying to get my “A-game” together. I regret becoming their roomates. It’s so frustrating, coming back to our suite, and not being greeted with a hello, or hey how’s it going, all I get is ignored shoulders turned to a computer, or another room with nobody  in it. Okay, I get it, maybe I’m just some weirdo who has nothing better to do than go to the library, but I’m really trying to make my money’s worth of education. I am NOT going to school to have fun and then to end up with failing grades. That is NOT why I am here at swau. Sigh..

I’m so frustrated. And now, my friend is having problems with my other friend and like I wished it worked out between them, but it’s just NOT happening. So much bullshit is going around that I am freaking about to explode and just UGH.

I don’t know what to do..I wanna go back to my dorm, but why does it matter, they’re only going to ignore me, they’re still talking to him about his situation. What the fuck? How come I can’t just talk about it with them? I already KNEW before they EVER did.

fuck. I really wanted to start this school year off on a good foot, but so far, it’s a “no.”

I’m really looking forward to studying at barnes and noble tonight.